Simon Says #4

Simon:
After taking Levi to his first Mariners game (which is memorable to him only because of the the blue cotton candy and the really long escalator that we found), Simon was excited that he got to go in a couple of weeks. "We can't go for a couple of weeks because the Mariners are out of town playing the Blue Jays and and Yankees." I told him. That was true, but secretly I also wanted to wait until the 31st when kids got to run around the bases after the game.
That night he and Levi were spending the day/night at Grandma's and as dinner time rolled around he made it clear to Grandma that he would no be able to spend the night, because Dad was taking him to a Baseball game against the Hankys.

Levi:
I was in the kitchen one afternoon, and overheard Levi dying of laughter. Because history has taught me that this can mean piling toys on the baby, or coloring the carpet with sharpies, I decided to investigate...verbally.
"Levi! What are you doing!" I yelled over my shoulder from the sink.
"I'm peeing back-words!" He declared from the bathroom.
Turning off the sink, and not sure of what I would find, I moved hastily toward the bathroom to find Levi sitting on the toilet, facing the tank, proudly enacting his new technique.

Josie: Because she cannot talk, Josie has built up a strong friendship with the other person in the house with the same limitation: our dog Renton. They both take great joy around her ability to get about 20% of the food she tries to eat into her actual mouth.

Simon and Levi:
Yesterday morning I made some blueberry pancakes. Both boys wanted peanut butter on them which, naturally, creates the dire need of a beverage. Levi reached this conclusion first as he is a bit of a beverage guy. So much so, in fact, that at one point we thought he was allergic to dairy...and took him off of it for a few months (because of his less then normal bowel movements). As it turned out, he was not allergic at all, but was consuming heavier then adult levels (as a two year old) of nature's diarrhetic: Apple juice. So when Levi requested something to drink I gave him the three choices revealed by our refrigerator: Lemonade, Milk and Water. Levi subconsciously picked the one with the highest sugar content and was happy to continue his breakfast.
Simon, not wanting to substitute good sugar for taste, requested an option not on the list - Chocolate Milk. Not hearing a complaint from Levi, who seemed quite content with his now completely gone pink Lemonade, I caved and made Simon a small glass of chocolate milk.
Time rolls on, and Simon, lightly sipping his beverage being held by both hands, quietly says, "Mmmm, I'm Dying."
"What was that?" I said, hoping for a repeat.
"This chocolate milk is soooo good, you have to try it."
I quickly made sure that I was actually talking to Simon and not Rebekah, whose language and mannerisms had somehow been channeled, (I am forced to assume through the ownership of a special brown morning beverage) and took a sip.
It was good.
"Can I try?" said a hopeful Levi.
Without missing a beat, Simon, filled with heavy empathy, replied, "Ooooh, I'm so sorry Levi. But you are allergic to dairy... I wouldn't want you to be sick." He looks at me and shakes his head with sympathy for Levi's condition, which made me wonder about other unknown levels of nonsense he pitches at Levi when there is not someone there to mediate. After seeing that I did not approve of his logic, he was able to find a compromise that would work for all. Taking his stirring spoon in hand, he turns back to Levi and says, "Ok Levi, you can have ONE SPOONFUL!" He scoops out a light spoonful, feeds it to Levi (Who gladly accepts and has no problem with any of this) and then they both return to their pancakes.

Simon Says #3

It seems there is a tension in parenting. On one hand you want to help your kids build their identity, discover their strengths and passions. On the other hand you don't want to box them in and cut off their imagination toward who they could be. At any rate, Simon and Levi spent the night at Grandma and Grandpa's the other night...I asked Simon how it went and he replied: "It was fun!...buuuut Levi was pushin' it."

Levi is 3 and tends to get into things. After a recent episode (drawing on the carpet that is still somewhat visible) I had a long talk with him about thinking before acting. He wanted to make sure that I thought he was smart...which sort of broke my heart...but I assured him he was very smart, which he certainly is, but that the more he used his thinker, the smarter he would get...just like how when he uses his muscles they get stronger!

So I was surprised just the day after the big talk that I caught him in the act drawing a "strawberry" (he claims) on the living room floor!

After he apologized and scrubbed it up, I intentionally decided against mentioning the whole "Think First" thing, but he brought it up.

"But Da-ad, I thought about it first...but then (shrugging shoulders)...just colored the strawberry!"

 I suppose you have to appreciate a little guy who thinks outside the box. Keep the creativity coming Levi!

Simon Says #2

Every Friday is game day...from our perspective this means the only day that our kids can ask us if they can play video games; from the kids perspective its Christmas morning once a week. Yep, complete Christmas morning: having trouble falling asleep the night before, getting up early to wake us up, wanting to stay in pajamas all day long and having several meltdowns. Due to the ridiculous nature of this we may do away with games all together, but in any case, today from early afternoon on, Simon was asking questions about when tomorrow starts.
"How many minutes until tomorrow?"
"What time does Friday start?"
"Is it tomorrow yet?"
This all culminated after dinner, when Simon and Levi were playing in the family room. Mom had thrown out twelve hours for night time, which was not exactly what Simon wanted to hear...several minutes later, Simon stopped, knelt down, folded his hands, closed his eyes and said, "Jesus God, PLEASE make night time only last five minutes. Amen."

About a year ago, I was in my bedroom, which is at the end of the hall that opened into the dining room and kitchen. I was walking out of the room and passed the then 3 year old Simon in the hall. Pointing his thumb over his shoulder, but not breaking his stride, he stated out of the corner of his mouth, "Levi's up to something."
I was a little in shock at this little guys vocabulary, and then made my way to the kitchen, where I caught the tail end of Levi's dumping of an entire box of cereal onto the ground.

Simon Says #1

It makes sense to me that I should throw in posts about the funny things that my kids say...because, well, they are hilarious and say some pretty amazing things.  Simon is my oldest so it makes sense to call these posts: Simon Says.  Just to be clear, there are many things said by Levi and I imagine someday Josie as well...but the good things said will go down here for my own memory as well as for your enjoyment!

I'll start with one from each of my boys good measure:

Levi:  11:30pm...age 2, in his sleep, at full volume..."UNO!"...five minutes later, quite casually, and still in full REM mode..."ya see that dad?"

Simon:  "What is Mom drinking?"
Dad, "Coffee"
Simon, "Cause only girls drink coffee?"
Dad, "No guys drink coffee too, just not Dad."
Simon, "Oh...do girls have hearts?"